Wednesday, 20 May 2009

Constant, for a Change

D. will give out his puncture-haahi (laughter), if not that, give me one of those look-who's-saying half-smiles that makes me want to thump my foot, lower my horns and charge for his rear. It is true my recent conduct (tell you later) belies my proposition, but what D. does not seem to appreciate is the CHANGE - hum kya se kya ho gaye and not lamenting, this:

1. Boyfriends: It is benefiting for D. to assume that for a girl in my situation there could not have been a better fish in the pond (in un-minced mercenary terms) or that I'm the traditional wife with a conscience bigger than my appetite and eyeballs. But dear husband missed out the only reality: I love him and after a lot of permutations, combinations, comparisons, and after more than a year of peaceful coexistence, I am bereaved of any logic or reason to not continue wifehood with him, like I discontinued girlfriendhood with at least a bunch before him. That I am still Mrs. D. is not what I want to be acknowledged for, but at least count this as point No. 1 in my proof of stability, as I just have!

2. Jobs: Somebody who could not understand how in the world could her parents manage to remain entwined to the same Electricity Board all their lives, whose loyalty to companies varied from jobs that lasted 3 days to jobs that she quit, and again came back to, who once simply walked out of the office in the lunch break and never came back ---- to becoming somebody determined to hold on till she's kicked out, even though the job is nowhere close 'the dream job' ----- is humanely oceanic, don't you think? Point 2.

3. Emotional atyachaar: Slightest change in my emotional graph (to think of them now) and I would imagine a catapult of tornadoes on my little head, blame God for being step-motherly, wet pillows (they had to dried in the sun next day), burn things (tucked with care memory things), look for agony aunts, chop-off hair (at the parlour but), baba re what not.
D. did not see me then, so I understand why he cannot appreciate my clawing only lightly, deliberately missing my throws (and all light objects), yelling without cursing, never showing the middle finger, never kicking or spitting or packing bags and disappearing for weeks - and all this once in seven blue moons, if at all. My hair has also grown long.

4. Experimental recipes: When I first moved in with him, I thought kitchen is a lab (laboratory, and not Boomer) and just like my nitwit Chemistry experiments, my combinations rarely produced the intended effect.
I wonder if he has noticed we have been eating quiet peaceful, lately. Adjusting + Understanding requirements + Stability. Hence proved.

5. Ringtones, Wallpapers: Not only have I not changed them for a long long time now, but wonder how do people manage all that time to do that.

6. House-hop: Five years in Delhi I hopped 11 houses and not a trifling joke that was for a single girl - pack and unpack every 6 months/1 year. Right now I am planning shifting not because it has got into my genes now (acquired characters) but because I have my investments in mind and feel we can get a better deal with that much dough. So this can be squeezed into my stability list with some explanation.

Point 7: Accepting that there always will a be few things inconstant. Like my blog templates, for now. I was quite a late entrant into the blogosphere and its wonders and again, being the technologically challenged that I am, would look at those with good looking blogs with great awe and think they must be real geniuses to do all that. Even wrote to one to give me some gyan. And finally I landed in this site. BTW, how do you like my new template? Nice na?

Few things inconstant, yes, lest I become too predictable.


Mama - Mia said...


i can see all the signs of sanity and stability!

the Don is indeed lucky!@


Loved your style! be back soon enough!



lostonthestreet said...

YOu are a girl after my heart.Stability is something I am et to come to terms with.I have also gone thru the entire rigmarole of change-houses, men,jobs,cities...

Ms Taggart said...

A friend asked me to read your blog! :)

Good I came over here!
I am someone who doesn't change stuff so easily, once I get into the comfort zone.
For the Point 6, in all the years I have been in this city, I have been in only 3 real homes... (Baki sab hostel the!)

And the thing about jobs, I wish I could do that! Or I wish I get the guts to do that! Something totally wrong with the way I am wired, probably!

Ann Dee said...

@ Mama Mia
Welcome.. At least you could sniff the seeping stability..Thanks sweety...
And I will tell Don how blessed he is to have me ;)

@ Lostonthestreet

Me thinks you're also nearing that benchmark... 3 years with a single boy friend to start with..and now this Gypsy Feet commitment..

@ Ms Taggart

Hey thanks and I know that friend of yours?
Those "11 houses" were all of hostels, P.G.s and independent aprtments. On second thoughts may be my main problem was not wanting to give-in to the comfort zone. Jobs, b.f.'s, houses and looking for fresh challenges all the time. Good Lord what I life I've grown out of!

P.S. Like you name...Ms Taggart...would have loved to call it out were it you real name (nehi hai I think?)

Ms Taggart said...

Yeah, I think you know that friend.
And thanks for the thing on my name. Its indeed not a real one, though I wish I was Dagny Taggart myself! :)

You interest me when you say, looking for fresh challenges.. Some introspection on my side tells me that for all the talk I do about facing them, I dont really like changes. Yet, there are times when I get bored with routine.. Sigh.. its the confusion thats irritating.