Thursday, 18 June 2009

Me and Machines


Whether God purports that I live like apes sans science or machines, or I am technologically jinxed, I am beginning to doubt. Could all of these be mere co-incidences? Please enlighten me:

1. Immediate context: I cannot send emails from my gmail! I was replying to a mail thread about a Music event we're to attend this Sunday, till one of them replied to me: "Should I guess your reply or is it a cryptic puzzle to be solved" and rummaging through the entire thread, I suddenly realized that my signature was all that was visible in my reply mails and not a word of what I wrote. Hell! I immediately got on to Google Chrome (thinking maybe finally Google declared - if you wnna Gmail, you better use Chrome). Scarlett was patient enough to open all my mails and confirm she saw NOTHING on them. Now I do not know what bug could that be that eats up the words from your mail by the time it is delivered in the recipients Inbox (coz’ I could see my full mails in my 'Sent Items').



2. No machine ever survives hale and long in my life, even though I am everything but clumsy, really. I did not break a single neck or hand of the toys I played with as a child. In fact I have all of preserved (“for her kids”, Ma kids) and all in one piece. This might not be ‘the proof’, but says some thing, does it not?


Machines-gone-bad-made-me-mad examples:


i) My DELL laptop was just 2 weeks old when two keys popped out. I did not have long nails and my fingers, dear readers, are pretty lithe. At least I know how to type without popping out keys of the machine. It must be the guy who fixed internet on my machine, I concluded. After the keypad, within a year the speakers and the motherboard had to be replaced and since it all happened in the warranty period, it did not pinch much. You can read about my experience here. As if that wasn’t enough for one machine – very soon my ‘@’ got exchanged with ‘close inverted commas’ and the ‘back slash’, type ‘#’ is it shows ‘£’, while ‘\’ disappeared altogether and became ‘#’. And since the warranty period is over and I had no faith that this one more repair will be its last, I decided to get used to my ‘new’ keys and Google for back slashes whenever required.


ii) Biometric Fingerprint systems cannot identify my fingerprints. I discovered it when in my second organization they introduced biometric fingerprints for attendance. In that office of some 1500 people, I was the only one whose fingerprints it would not recognize. Two whole weeks we tried to capture a sample, rubbed my fingers so many times to free it of all moisture that whatever little imprint was left that too much have eroded off. Finally we all gave up and while my colleagues did it with a small thumb, I had to write down my entry and exit timings every day in that just-mine register. History repeated itself when I went for my Learner’s Driving License. It was a long, restless queue and my finger lived upto their reputation. Irritated, the security guard put his own thumb impression. Does it mean if I am to be convicted ever, no one will be able to prove it using my fingerprints? Can somebody have no fingerprints AT ALL? And I found this, just that noone came to interview me. Sigh!


iii) My assembled desktop (my 1st PC) became a pain in no time, but behaved after a few slaps and kicks at the CPU (I was the rough n tough type then), so no grumbling about that.



3. My BSc 1st year exam results had highest in English, 2nd highest in Zoology, while I flunked in Chemistry. I could never accept the theories at face value



4. Little did I consider these things when I decided to join this software giant. What ensued is a little hard to believe considering its reputation as one of the best workplace in the globe. If I go on to tell you point after point, it will make a thesis to prove that I'm tech-jinxed.


However, being the optimist that I am, I can tell the God of Technology has not completely disowned me. My 2 year old Nokia 3230 alive and ringing and as handsome as a 6 month old is a glaring testimony, besides the newly bought gadgets and machines post marriage.



At the moment, the few glaring ones are all I can recollect, but tell you my life has seen much more and over the years I only feel surprized if a machine is behaving itself for too long with me. Sure you have your share of experiences.... Or is it just me???!!!??? (Thinking....)

42 comments:

v said...

It is just you.

eye-in-sty-in said...

My colleague was like that... her comp use to die for no apparant reason, she didnt get good network reception in office! She claimed to emit radio waves that messed with the stuff around her.... However, when she dropped her phone in the loo, she could not blame the waves for THAT :D

Btw, you write really well!!

Ann Dee said...

@V

Pl read what Eye-Sty wrote...I aint the only one. Read read...

P.S. Did I tell you I am also gifted - I pass my jinxes on to those who think they cant be jinxed. So if your mobile suddenly dies out in between an super important conference call, or your car comes to a screeching halt when you next pass by the graveyard at 12 am --- don't tell me I did not tell you.. ;)

@Eye-Sty

Thank you buddy. You're the best.

BTW, that 'you write really well' will not get you your crate of beer (the one that would have been there already by weekend...but alas!)

Scarlett O'Hara said...

Oh.. I love the gorilla photo and its expression!
And sweety.. I also think its you.. Coz none of these things happen to us... :P ;)

eye-in-sty-in said...

butt kissing was never my forte... so you can rest assured the compliment was genuine :P

and the place that I am at right now.... sending a crate of beer over would cost you a bomb!! :D

Thanks for the thought though :-)

v said...

Dang it, woman!

I don't care much about my cell phone not working but not my car. Please take it back!

DEV said...

It happens to me all the time. My PC would get stuck at the "welcome" message and would not respond even on restart. but the damn thing goes beyond the "welcome" message when somebody else hits on it... similarly, the speakers i bought recently didn't work at my home. so i went to the shop to ask for replacement, they connected the speakers to the comp and guess what!! they were working fine... so now i am third person in the world facing this "electronic-equipments-not-working-with-me threat".
DEV

Ann Dee said...

@ Scarlett

Well that is just how I looked while writing this blog. :)

And sweety you better take back your words, or dekha na how I just jinxed Mr. V.. Heh heh heh you take care girl :P

@ Eye-sty

Thank you boy for all the nice (and not-so-nice things) you've been saying about me lately:

I did not know I would gulp it down with a pinch of salt and appreciate your sense of humour instead - the spiky that I am. But that wasn't saying 'aa bail, mujhe aur maar' so you better rest at that and make peace with Ann Dee. Nehi tou.... (did you notice my gorilla muscles?) :P

@ V

So you agree I aint the only one and I am smart and it is just that I always the moronic machines?

@ Dev

We need more people like you Dev who'd confess about their mishaps and not consider me the only gorilla around. We three shalt together get the machines behave. Amen!

Welcome to my blog :)

eye-in-sty-in said...

silly girl... trying to scare me with fake gorilla muscles ... ha ha ha ... very adorable this is... so now you are spiky too? guess my alias is rubbing off a lil too much on ya :P

btw, the gorilla muscles would go well with the "natthuram" moustache, no? ;-)

*runs away fast, lest the gorilla comes after the boy*

Ann Dee said...

@ V

Oh oh what did I write...me getting all moronic machines also makes me jinxed right? Ishhh...sorry.. what I meant was - Say Ann Dee is the best and relieve yourself from the curse :P

Ann Dee said...

@ Eye-sty

Did you consider the word (spike, spiky) appears in the dictionaries too? Just coz you chose to call yourself that doesn't make it a proper noun.

Some people have all the illusions, tellya...

eye-in-sty-in said...

Actually, when I use the word as my alias, it does make it a noun... ;-)

Ann Dee said...

Noun for you..not for the rest of the world

BTW I can't see my gorilla anymore. Did it come for you? :P

(might be my net, but I seriously cant see the pic)

eye-in-sty-in said...

churaya huaa bandar tha - the owner took it back! :P

v said...

I still didn't understand what you wrote. I guess the Gorilla didn't either and ran away.

T-REX said...

I hate to bear more bad news but your latest posts dont show on my blogroll. All I can see are challenged person the years old ones. So I never get my cue when to comment. I am also a technology challenged ape who looks like a man. I generally give my password to more tech savvy friends and get my tech ailments resolved.

Ann Dee said...

@ Eye-sty

Phir se churati hoon..this time kahi aur se.. heh heh

Ann Dee said...

@ V

I was perhaps in that phuleez-make-me-feel-good mode when I wrote that. Good news is I installed a new OS and discovered that the keys-gone-crazy problem is solved. Which means my Lappy is just FINE now. Machine-ka-Bhagwan got a lil too alarmed at my post I guess ;)

@ T-Rex

Arrey that's another problem I need to sort out. I have no clue why my latest posts don't show up in the blogrolls like all else's do. I'm thinking of inserting an Email Subscription widget so that my posts will land right at your inbox. But wo bhi to nehi mil raha. Any suggestion?

Even I gave out my password to my ex-manager recently when I wanted to add the Read-More feature to my posts. But guess what he couldnt do it. Me did it myself! Yes yes, here's my shoulder..Pat me you may :D

Ann Dee said...

My old Gorilla ran away. This one agreed to come after a lot of cajoling (15 bananas a day, and she has no clue I was talking about 15 banana images..heh heh...picture ke badley picture). If she too escapes, I will have no option but make a monkey face and sit there in her place.

v said...

I think I'd love to see a picture of you in the Gorilla's place, won't be that big a difference. You don't even need to make a monkey-face.[:D]

Let's all have a poll on it. My vote is already in.

Ann Dee said...

Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :P

(How did you know? You could not have seen me without make-up! Is it Ms. Taggart's doing?)

v said...

It's not too hard to guess. You seemed to love Gorillas so I figured you shared the same pedigree. [:D]

And no, Ms. Taggart didn't have anything to do with it.

eye-in-sty-in said...

nice monkey - dont eat its bananas... ok?

Scarlett O'Hara said...

I protest! I loved the earlier gorilla! Get it back! :)

v said...

Scarlett resembles the old gorilla and Ann Dee the new one.

So, Ann Dee, you should put both up next to each other.

PS: Please remove comment moderation. It's not fun. Here, take a dozen bananas as bribe.

Kanupriya said...

:D loved it, it sometimes happens with me too & I strongly believe that Murphy uncle wrote all his laws keeping me in mind.
BTW loved all the stuffs posted by you in "leisure" section of ur blog.

Ann Dee said...

@ V

Haan haan..me and Scarlett share the same pedigree as Ms. Gorilla, like you do with her brothers. We read Darwin in school remember?

[It's a diff. matter that I find that alternative theory of some alien species coming to earth and creating humans more convincing]

Ok, I will consider the comment moderation thing. Hmmmm...

@ Eye-sty

Monkey? This weekend, pl make a trip to the zoo, OK? It's like calling a wolf a dog.

@ Scarlett

Thanks darl for appreciating my taste for apes. ;)
Waise I wonder why would the owner remove it just when I took it for my innocent, pity-me post.. :0

Ann Dee said...

@ Kanupriya

'ello and 'elcome to my blog. I was with my magnifying glass when I wrote about all that mishap. :)

And that 'Some time, some leisure' section is my favourite too..more so, because I no more find the time, nor the inspiration to make them. Thanks buddy..

ani_aset said...

hehe good one :P

Scarlett O'Hara said...

Exactly! Tht gorilla was cute..
And as for V, he is in denial. He knows he is from the ape family, I am sure he passed his school though I doubt his college education! :P

And oh yes.. Comment moderation always dilutes such comment fights.. :)

Ann Dee said...

Now come on, don't be so harsh on V, what if uski sachhayi samne aayi tou he chicked out (and Eye-sty thinks I'm the only chicken here)...
And I'm sure he has seen college (writes decent angrezi if you noticed).

Cant remove comment moderation re..I once had a terrible experience. Will tell you sometime..

v said...

@ Ann Dee

Yes, normal people such as myself diversified from the lineage of apes even before Darwin's "On the Origin of Species" but you and Scarlett still share many traits with Gorillas. *killer blow - takes a bow *

@Scarlett,

Please refer to my response to Ann Dee. Also, college education sucks and that's why I made a conscious effort to fail.

*Exits amidst a sea of applause*

Ann Dee said...

@ Scarlett

Okay, you can be harsh on V.

Scarlett O'Hara said...

Ann Dee,
*bows*
Thanks for the approval lady.. your comment space shall now be used as a battleground. Thats very generous!

V,
Well.. I for sure know a bit or two abt your college education! So lets not even get there !:P
And for the gorilla trait, do you know that our beloved gorilla has a weird shaped hairy animal related to Orangutans for the ancestor? Did it strike anything? Or do you want me to be clear so that that pea-sized brain can get the point? :P

v said...

@Scarlett,

Please be clear. I don't understand Gorilla language. Maybe Ann Dee can translate. Muhahahaha.

And on a side note, only one Gorilla asks the other approval to fight a normal human being.

*Exits to a roar of applause again*

Ann Dee said...

ROFL

@ V

You sure undertstand Gorilla language.. How did you respond to her comment then, in the first place?

(Wondering who're the ones applauding V out here....not me and Scarlett, at least)

@ Scarlett

I forgot the Bijayi bhawa tika and the trumpet... here I go ----

Scarlett O'Hara said...

V is still in denial.. He knows he is the gorilla! Period!
And also thinks that the world will stop what it is doing and wait for him to complete his sentence and then get back to what it was doing after applauding!

Darling V, Get over it! :P

Scarlett O'Hara said...

Ann Dee, Did you notice that he didnt talk one more word about college education? :)

Ann Dee said...

Scarlett,

I'm getting curious about that college education bit now. Was he suspended? Or did he drop out? In either case that makes V a very interesting person. ;)

And I've a name for you sweety (nah not what Srinivas calls you...heh heh)...Guess will drop it at your blog. :)

v said...

@Scarlett

And also thinks that the world will stop what it is doing and wait for him to complete his sentence and then get back to what it was doing after applauding

I don't need to think. I know.

@Ann Dee

Yes, I dropped out of college. Actually, they threw me out. Worked for me, because I saved money.

Scarlett O'Hara said...

V, stop talking about your college, or I will have to tell Ann Dee about it!

Ann Dee, getting thrown out of college sure does make one interesting because he would be dumb, and I sometimes feel that V could be dumb but notice, he certainly is not interesting! :D

Ann Dee said...

@ Scarlett n V

Now toh I'm super duper curious to know what's this with the college thing. Tell me naaaaaaa......

And I guess I'll need a little reworking on my idea of 'interesting' [ V took it seriously and crashed into a pigeon in the air]. I'd rather not make such fatal compliments.